Why do I feel the need to ramble online about creating?

 I've made a few posts on my personal instagram about my opinions on this but I thought maybe a blog would better suit this discussion. I might advise you to read the description of this blog for you to try and understand how these will be written—they really are going to be written as my brain thinks, not even close to a well put together essay. Here goes nothing, welcome to my thoughts & such. 

Creating is a pretty broad word if you think about it. But what justifies creating in the first place? I could make a pie and that's creating. I could create this semi-ridiculous blog containing my definitely ridiculous thoughts. I could also gallivant the world with my cameras and my sense for adventure. But what is most remarkable is that I love to do it all. How can one word encompass everything that one person loves? In fact, when I think about it, there's not much that I love that isn't a form of creating. 

Now, why do I feel the need to ramble about this online? Well, why do I create? (I'll make a post later about why I think I am supposed to put for now, let's hold back on that caveat). Is it for my own personal pleasure? Yeah. Is it also because I'm trying to communicate something? Mhmm, yep. Sometimes I argue with myself about that why? Why post it? Why ask hundreds to look at it and better yet "like it?"

I think by looking through this website you could probably get a pretty good handle on who I am as a person. But what those photos probably won't tell you is that I am an incredibly calculated person. Every single one of those photos I took thinking about a thousand things. Are there tangencies? (I really hate things being tangent more than anything). Do I have enough negative space? Have I lined up my subject in any interesting way? Am I following the rule of thirds or am I blatantly ignoring it? Am I going to make this image black and white or color? Do I want to focus only on the subject or have some depth? Should I stand? Should I squat? Should I lay flat on the ground? Seriously, I could go on for hours about the things I have thought about. I make all of those decisions sometimes all in the single second it takes me to swing my camera from my hip to my eye. Is that enough time to contemplate the intention for the photo? MMMMM...no. It's not. So I must think about that before I go out and shoot. I don't have to have a plan but I have to had thought about it thoroughly already. 

How does calculation about a photograph play into its overall effect on its viewer? How do I ensure that I affect the viewer's emotion in the way that I intended? But then...do I really care? Let's be honest, if I made art and never showed it to anyone, would it still be just as valuable to me? I should hope so—it's a reflection of me. 

I guess that's something I argue about (with myself) a lot: do I make art for myself or do I make art for other people to see? Can you do both? 

I think I can do both. But right now I am spending way too much time on pleasing other people, taking photos of what they want to see, doing things to make my "aesthetic" up to par with all those other people out there on instagram. 

Newsflash! This is a total catch 22. If you don't appease others, you are never going to make it in the art world. If you don't do what you love and follow your own creative ambitions, you're going to hate yourself. SO, where is that line? 

I don't know the answer to those questions but I hope, for my own sake, rambling about it online will help me better understand it. 

Again, welcome to my unorganized, ridiculous and far too existential thoughts & such (that will usually revolve around my creating). 

​Peace. 

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